Anna Gurton-Wachter
POEM FOR ALEXIS
this morning Alexis told me she felt love
when someone said so what?
the relief of the worst thing
suddenly not seeming so bad
there’s so much we all laugh
the world away with
live through and keep going
in the interview the author said
repeatedly the word brutal brutal brutal
the rare moments when as a child
she would stop reading a book
and re-enter what others call reality
a resuscitation a throwback
your voice sounds just like
cartoon water leaky faucet
your life’s complexity spilling
into mine like two farmers
working the land
before the invention
that would make human
labor superfluous ha ha ha
still waiting for it
communal internet
instead of this
billionaire’s dream playground
we all slide down
I suggested to a young writer
that she make a book called confessions
and just list all the things she has done
because the algorithm told her to
suggestibility is interesting
don’t you think? and patterns
why don’t you do it yourself?
you seem to feel no shame
Hannah said to me
that’s not true I responded
I could give you a tour
of this whole neighborhood
without even mentioning the trees
or any names of flowers
Tom asked me if I ever had
a paranormal experience
and I asked sincerely
if giving birth counts
I never did get dressed today
so why am I complaining
I fried up some chanterelles
and listened to the poetry
reading from home
could even hear your voices
chit chatting before it started
though I swore I also heard
a child’s cry and couldn’t believe
it wasn’t my own
did it sound like I was bragging
when I said
my son goes into a trance state
when listening to music
stares off into the distance
and if I ask him what he is looking at
he says simply, “the music”
he gets that from you, I say
a denial of my own
relationship to what?
to leaving my self behind
divine tantrum
breaking and entering
the voice chain link fence
my pretend ineptitude
fosters the curious mind
yes I was there, I saw it
I took it in but it hadn’t occurred
to me yet that these sorts of scenes
were worthy of much attention
every few years I forget
and get to have the revelation
all over again
what if you were
how I see you
what if you were
exactly how I see you
Anna Gurton-Wachter is a writer, editor and archivist. She is the author of Utopia Pipe Dream Memory (ugly duckling presse) as well as eight chapbooks, most recently Lucy (belladonna*). More info can be found at annagw.com.
